Types of Mom

  “Which type of mom are you”, this is the question I get to hear very frequently. I know it sounds of strange when someone asks type of parent, feels like talking about a car. Which type of car do you own”Auto or Manual”. So back to mothers, we have two different types of Mothers Working and non working (Stay at home moms/SAHM). Based on the answer you will hear different responses and believe me when I say different it means really weird. Lets look at some conversations which I had some days back.

Conversation 1 : In apartment while walking down with Abhimanyu

Lady : Hey you have a cute kid.

Me : Thank you.

Lady: He looks little week but. I never saw you before, how come?

Me : yeah ok, no idea

Lady: Are you working.

Me : Yep

Lady : With a sigh, ah that is why I never saw you.

Me : In my mind, “excuse me I don’t work 24 hours a day in office” and said yeah.

Lady : So how do you cope with your in laws?

Me: I am like what???

Lady : Yeah it is very tough to stay with in laws and listen to their taunts. But poor you no option. some one has to take care of your kid, as you are working.

Me : Again WHAT?? Ok my son goes to day care. My inlaws doesn’t stay in this city. And he is my kid I need to take care of him.

Lady: OHHHH day care. Poor fellow, that is why I was thinking why is he so week. But poor you no option. But how bad are your in laws, its their responsibility to take care of their grand son.

Me : In my mind “NO Vinita NO you are a good girl, you don’t shout and killing is a legal offense, calm down” Yeah, thank you for your concern, I am so touched, by the way whats your name???

YES you all got it right, she was a stranger who was meeting me first time.

Conversation 2: In a party

Lady : Hi My name is “Y”, how are you

Me : hey my name is Vinita, I am good, nice to meet you.

General chit chat continues…

Lady Y: Waw we have lot of common, We can be good friends.

Me : in my mind “ She looks nice, good to talk”. Yeah we surely can.

Lady Y : So what do you in your day time.

Me : I work.

Lady Y : OH you are working. Ok Ok. I used to work previously. But I left when I had my kid.

Me : Ok

Lady Y : Its good you are still working with your kid. Very tough to manage. Actually my hubby wanted me to continue but I said NO my kids are more important than my carrier, so I left. You know it depends on priority. I was very clear from day one “My kid is my priority, rest all comes later”. I am very happy, I can spend quality time with my kid. You know at this age they need their mother most. This is the bonding time with kid. But its good you are working. I cant imagine sending my kid out of sight for whole day. But you know its my choice.

Me : In my mind “ Yeah right for me kid comes in the last, if there is an earthquake I am going to save my laptop first and then my son”

Lady Y : You know I hate when someone else touches my son. I don’t like maids and day care people taking care of my child, so I left. But yeah it depends on priorities.It good you are able to continue your job.

 Me : In my mind “NO Vinita NO you are a good girl, you don’t shout on others and killing is a legal offence, calm down , save me some one please save me” . Yeah

Lady Y: Good you are working, ok I need to feed my kid, you know he doesn’t eat with anyone else hand, he is so habitual of me. Bye.

After that in whole party she never turned back to say hi/bye or any thing. While previously when she didn’t know I am working she wanted to be good friends with me. 

If I start typing all my conversations which I had in past one year I may need to publish a book. 

Come on guys give me a break. If I am able to manage my work and my kid who are you to judge me. It's none of your business that how do I handle both and if I am successful or not. 

 

I am really not sure why there is a fuss about working or non working moms. People need to understand a mom loves her child unconditionally no matter what type of mom she is. We need to stop judging “Oh she is working, that means she don’t love her kid” Oh she doesn’t work “ she is good for nothing, just a house wife. There is nothing called just a house wife, they also work day in day out without even getting recognized. So while I appreciate their efforts, they should also know a working lady also love her kid and home equally like them.

I have seen husbands who want their wives to be a house wife and get all the work done by them, but then they keep crying for money crunch. “OH you know my wife she loves to spend, she always wants to go out on movie/dinner on weekend. I am a sole bread winner you know but she doesnt understand, she is just a housewife”. No offense but they are double minded retards and needs to be eliminated from the society. 

Also mothers who have chosen to leave their job need to be happy about their decision. There is no need of showing off and talking about priorities. 

Abhimanyu loves a poem which says "If you are happy and you know then you really ought to show..." same way if you are happy then please be happy for your self. Don't feel happy by looking at me and think oh look she doesnt love her kid much like me as I left my job.It feels like in place of feeling happy for your decision you are feeling happy that my son is sad (which is not true by the way).

There has to be a balance and we need to know where to draw a line “earning is not only a guy’s responsibility, same way house work is not only for girls.So if no one says leave your job to a father then at the same time they should not expect this from a mother as well.Raising kid is both parent's responsibility as baby is made up of egg and sperm both.

I love when people gives strange expressions for Girish when they see him handling Abhimanyu so efficiently. Yes he does an amazing job as a Dad so am I as a mom.