Parent's nightmare - crying baby

Why do babies cry?

The dream: Your baby sleeps through the night after just a few weeks, gurgles happily while you run errands and fusses only when hunger strikes.
The reality: Your baby's favorite playtime is after the 2 a.m. feeding. Crankiness peaks when you're out and about. You had no idea a crying baby could keep the tears flowing for so long.and this tiny thing can make this big noise.
Sound familiar? Most tiny babies cry for between one hour and three hours each day. Yes you read it right one to three hours each day

Very first thing the newborn learns is to cry and as a new parent we don’t know what needs to be done at that time. But always remember,It's perfectly normal. 

Crying is baby's way of communicating for all the needs and ensuring a response from us. Initially it is very hard to find out what is the issue and only method is keep trying all possible causes and eliminates them. But as your baby grows you will start recognizing the patterns and the causes.

A crying baby is trying to tell you something. Your job is to figure out why your baby is crying and what — if anything — you can do about it. 

 In this post I tried to pull together reasons which I faced with Abhimanyu and what else I did to sooth him except crying with him J

I'm hungry

Hunger is one of the most common reasons that your newborn baby will cry. The younger your baby is, the more likely it is that he's hungry. Try offering him some milk even if his last feed doesn't seem very long ago. Sometimes I fed him every hour or so. Always remember it is impossible to overfeed the baby with breast milk. So feed as much as often you can.

I need my nappy changing

Baby may protest if his clothes are too tight or if a wet or soiled nappy is bothering him .if your baby's tender skin is being irritated she will most likely cry. Make sure to change diaper every 4 hours no matter you feel it is empty and if it is soiled change it immediately. Invest in a good diaper and rash cream.

I'm too cold or too hot

We usually tend to think that it is only cold which harms the baby. It is not true. Extreme hot is also not good and they may not like it and cry.

Take care not to overdress your baby, or he may become too hot. He will generally need to wear one more layer of clothing than you to be comfortable. I have seen a baby getting fever due to overdressing and no fan being used.

Always check baby’s temperature by feeling his tummy, not by hand of feet. If his tummy feels too hot, remove a blanket, and if it feels cold, add one.

I need to be held

Baby will need lots of cuddling, physical contact and reassurance to comfort them. So it may be that he just wants to be held. Sing a nice song to him while you hold him. Abhimanyu still loves “Tum hi ho meri ashiqui” by his dad and sleeps nicely.

You may be worried about spoiling your baby if you hold him too much. But during the first few months of his life that's not possible. Always remember they are just out in this huge world of light and noises  and scared so they need lot of reassurance from mom and dad.

 I'm tired and need a rest

Yes babies do get tired and they do need rest even after lots of sleep. In sometime parents start recognizing the sleep signs and cues.

Abhimanyu starts rubbing his eyes when he is sleepy. You just need to pick up the sign and put him to sleep. Another opposite sign is over stimulation, normal language behaving high J. My son starts giggling for no reason and that looks very funny. In this situation they will not be able to settle down. Best way is switch off the light, give some time to calm down and then start sleeping procedure.

Colic

Sometimes you might not be able to figure out what's wrong when your baby cries. Many newborns go through patches of fretfulness and are not easily comforted. The unhappiness can range from a few minutes of hard-to-console crying to several hours at a stretch, an almost constant state of crying that is sometimes called colic. Colic is defined as inconsolable crying for at least three hours a day, for at least three days a week. You need to have lots of courage and patience to deal with a colicky baby.

Many parents find it very difficult to cope with a baby who has colic, and there is no magic cure for colic, but it rarely lasts for more than three months. If you can hold on to the fact that your baby will grow out of it, that may help. If you think your baby has colic, talk to doctor, read internet, it has plenty of information on how to deal with a colicky baby and some easy ways to sooth colicky baby. Always remember colic is not a sickness and it will not go away with some medicine.

So here are some tested methods which can be used to calm the baby:

•             Swaddle

•             Walk around while rocking him or carry him in his favorite position. 

•             Sit with him in a rocking chair or put him in bouncer.

•             Take him out for a walk in his  stroller.

•             Gentle tummy massage will help in releasing gas and in colic.

•             Burp

•             Warm water bath

When to call doctor:

Call the doctor if your baby has difficulty breathing through the crying, or if the crying is accompanied by a fever, vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation. Try to recognize the patterns and if you feel there is something abnormal then please immediately call doctor. Don’t bother about others who say you are a finicky mom/dad who gets worried on every small thing and always remember it’s your baby, your responsibility, your decision.

 So your ultimate goal should be a happy sleepy baby like below :)

Baby oh baby

For all new mommys and daddys, ever wondered what needs to be done with this cute little thing? I had the same feeling when I first saw abhimanyu, it was exactly oh what is it, is it mine, what needs to be done with it. Is he going to stay with me always,will I be able to take care of him? And I am pretty sure these are the thoughts of all new parents. It is only later you realize that you are a parent now and have a responsibility which looks very tiny and pretty, but will consume all your energy and time. Sometimes I really wonder if evolution really works, how come mother and father only have two hands. 
So here I tried to collect some useful tips to handle a new born from my own experience.

Nursing: Babies eat and eat and eat. Although nature has done a pretty good job of providing you and your baby with the right equipment, in the beginning it's almost guaranteed to be harder than you expected. And there is no need to be guilty about it. It is perfectly normal to seek help. Also please do not think you are a cow and can produce liters of milk, because you are not and you have given birth to a human not to a calf so the quantity which you produce is more than enough for the baby

Sleeping: If your infant isn't eating, he's probably sleeping. Newborns log as many as 16 hours of sleep a day but only in short spells. The result: You'll feel on constant alert and more exhausted than you ever thought possible. Even the best of us can come to resent the severe sleep deprivation.

Crying: Most panicky thing is seeing your little one crying on top of his voice and you have tried all possible stuff to calm him down. Believe me there cant be anything worse than this situation. Initial days I used to cry with him but now I am learning and try not to cry every time. So what you can do in this situation is put baby in some safe place, go out from the room, take long deep breaths and come back and start again. Remember if you panic, baby will panic. And if you have some one senior at home then only GOD can save you. As they will be “OH MY GOD, he is hungry, he is cold, he has gas, I told you your milk is not enough, you need to eat daliya more and blah blah “

So please close your ears and say thanks for your advice, please take the baby while I calm myself down.

 Stop obsessing about being tired. There's only one goal right now: Care for your baby. "You're not going to get a full night's sleep, so you can either be tired and angry or just tired," and "Just tired is easier." So stop complaining after all you opt for this little thing.

The old saying "Sleep when your baby sleeps" really is the best advice. "Take naps together and go to bed early," swears every experienced parent.

What if your infant has trouble sleeping: Do whatever it takes: Nurse or rock baby to sleep; let your newborn fall asleep on your chest or in the car seat. "Don't worry about bad habits yet. It's about survival -- yours!" You just cannot spoil a newborn. Pick him up if he is crying, cranky baby always take lot of time to sleep and calm down.

And even after doing everything he is not ready to sleep, then you just cant help, let it go, seek help from partner, family member for baby and go to sleep.

Soothing: It's often hard to decipher exactly what baby wants in the first murky weeks. You'll learn, of course, by trial and error.The key to soothing fussy infants is to mimic the womb. Swaddling, shushing, and swinging, as well as allowing babies to suck and holding them on their sides, may trigger a calming reflex," 

Play tunes. Forget the dubious theory that music makes a baby smarter, and concentrate on the fact that it's likely to calm him. Play any soft lullabies or songs whichever your baby loves. Abhimanyu loves “Hush little baby” and sleeps peacefully (read sometimes).

Warm things up: Sometimes diaper change triggers a meltdown. So for that use warm wipes using warm water," It will ease the diaper changing session and will not wake baby up completely.

Soak to soothe. If all else fails -- and baby's umbilical cord stub has fallen off -- try a warm bath it will relax the baby.

Getting Dad Involved: Your husband, who helped you through your pregnancy, may seem at a loss now that baby's here. It's up to you, Mom, to hand the baby over and let Dad figure things out, just like you're doing.Many first-time dads hesitate to get involved for fear of doing something wrong and incurring the wrath of Mom. Moms need to allow their husbands to make mistakes without criticizing them, of course they are less experienced then you but letting them try will make all the difference.

Staying Sane: No matter how excited you are to be a mommy, the constant care an infant demands can drain you. Find ways to take care of yourself by lowering your expectations and stealing short breaks.

Ignore unwanted or confusing advice. "In the end, you're the parents, so you decide what's best," Learn how to close your ears for unwanted advices without reacting to them and throw a big peaceful smile.

Stop worrying: Easier said than done. Stop worrying for all small stuff hiccups are perfectly normal in newborns too. Try to research about common stuff on internet. We have plenty of information available. And if you are reading this blog that means you are computer literate and know how to use Google. So stop worrying and try to find out what expert parents and doctors has to say about any particular situation and then use your best judgment about visiting doctor. 

Messy house, forget it:  for the first couple of months, concentrate on getting to know your baby. If anyone has anything to say about the dust piling up or the unwashed dishes, smile and hand them a duster or the dish detergent!

Outings : They are pretty much required to keep you sane just stick to those places which are baby friendly, such as good shopping mall where they have nice baby care room. Keep your diaper bag packed with all possible stuff and don’t forget to pack one extra pair of you until you want to run around with beautiful Yellow poop in the mall ;)

Embrace the chaos: Keep your plans simple and be prepared to abandon them at any time.Always commit for an hour later then required. 

If nothing else, remember that everyone makes it through, and so will you. Soon enough you'll be rewarded with your baby's first smile and giggle, and that will help make up for all the initial craziness.

Pregnancy myths

In India  pregnancy is a hush hush affair. If one is pregnant then they need to hide behind big curtain sized cloths and listen to all possible people, be it elders or married friends. And if at all you are a first time working mother then that directly means you are good for nothing and you need to follow all possible advices which are free of cost and almost irrelevant. And if you don't, that directly implies you being a rude and irresponsible person.
So when I got pregnant I started getting advices, ideas from everywhere. And believe me some of them were very hilarious. Tradition is to follow them blindly without a blink but again its me who only does what I feel is right. So I thought let me list down all of them before I forget and you guys can read and laugh.

• Its inauspicious to talk about your pregnancy till 3 months:  This one is pretty common in India, one is not suppose to talk/inform about their pregnancy till 3 months are over. Some "Nazar Lag Jayegi" stuff. I have seen people hiding this grand news even from their families. I'll not be surprised if there will be some one who will not inform her husband. I find this myth quite odd as according to me it is good if your close ones know as soon as possible as they will feel happy and pray for you and you will get positive vibes and wishes for you and your baby. At least this is what happened in my case. I had so many positive people around me to give lot of good wishes and due to that my pregnancy sailed smoothly across winds.

•  You need to hide your baby bump: Almost same as previous one. I have seen so many ladies wearing shawl in scorching heat to cover/hid the baby bump. Now question is can you really hide the bump with a shawl? I doubt. I think the funda behind this stupidity is people are embarrassed about their pregnancy and they don't want other to know as if being pregnant is a crime. As I only follow what I believe in I didn't do it and wore all sexy short dresses. And believe me nothing happened, me and my baby both are fine. 

• Need to eat for two syndrome : "Oh My God" you are pregnant now, you need to eat for two people now. Ya right thank you for letting me know that I am pregnant, till now I was thinking I had loose motions only. I mean come on, my baby is pea sized right now and you want me to eat double for him. No one will say eat right, healthy balanced meal, just only increase the quantity will do. And then we crib for more weight gain. I got so many taunts on eating less and eating less fatty foods that I really thought I am going to have a malnutrition baby. But again its a myth so I just ate right balanced meal with all nutrients and made a perfectly healthy baby.

Now here are the most hilarious ones:

• When you carry low, you will have a boy and if you carry high, you'll have a girl. [Does that mean if I carry in the middle then I am carrying a.......:-P
• If you swim while you're pregnant, you could drown the baby. 
• if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl. My case was opposite I wanted to eat all possible sweets but in the end I had a sweet little boy.
• The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be. I don't think I want to talk more on this blush blush :)
• If you eat lot of curd your baby will be born fully wrapped in curd. I was expecting it as I ate curd like anything, but oops my boy was wrapped in amniotic fluid only.
• If anyone denies a pregnant woman whatever she is craving, they will get a sty in his/her eye. Now in this case Girish should be full of sties as he denied all my unhealthy cravings :-)
• Drink coconut water, you will have a fairer baby. why not, imagine the situation white kid is born in black parents :-P

So above are the few which I remember now, will update if I get some additional ones.

Journey to bring a new life :)

After 5 years of wedding life I and my hubby decided "let’s get a new life in this world". Mind you we never did anything without plan and we don't believe in accidents in this case.
So here comes the day 21st Feb 2013 stick showed two red lines, oh my…!. I couldn't believe my eyes as I never thought I'll get pregnant in first attempt.
Reaction: Oh what should I do, whom should I tell, idiot I need to inform my husband. Where is he, oh he is in gym and doesn't have mobile, now what. I can’t wait till he comes back. Now what, OK, take a deep breath and think, phew,oh yes I can Google and find number of gym and leave a message for him to come soon did that. Imagine this all I thought and performed in a span of 2 minutes. Then started waiting for Girish to come home. He came in 20 minutes, but man those 20 minutes felt like a day.
As soon as he entered I showed him the stick and he was like OMG. But as you know we can’t trust the stick blindly so we decided to go for blood test in nearby clinic to get confirmation. And in evening I received my report which confirmed that there is a small life planted inside me :).
Usually it should be mom whom should we inform but she was not available for 2 days, oh shit I need to keep quiet for 2 days. That’s a tough task for a female. So I decided to tell it to the closest person I have in Bangalore after Girish, my friend Sonal. She also gave the same reaction "OMG" and a good hug :).
Next day showed it to gynec and she gave a good list of what to do, what to eat and blah blah…!! And gave me a scan appointment after a week to check everything is fine. She was quite amazed that how did I come to know on day one. Usually stick takes a week or two to show the results.
Finally my mom was back in town and was dancing after hearing the news.  
After a week, went for first scan with a quite nervous mind-set. And doc said don't worry look here is your little one (funny though as it was a sac that time), but a perfectly healthy sac, which I have to nurture and turn in a new life. So this is how journey started.

First Trimester:
My husband is a fitness freak and has very healthy eating habits. And me I can eat both healthy unhealthy both , usually on unhealthy side. But then I had one more life growing in me, so I need to switch. I decided I am going to eat all possible healthy food as per doctor's suggestion.
Now here is the bummer we live in India, here advice is free. Every single person started giving me advice on pregnancy, no matter they were still single or without kids and no experience on this topic. I started getting confused which I don’t like at all. Being an avid reader, yes I can read almost anything I decided to gather information on my own and not trust/follow anyone except doctor.
So I took everything on my hands what am I going to eat, what am I going to wear and what not. And I pat my back for I thought of it as this is what made my whole 9 months smooth.
Thanks to god and my little cutie pie there was no nausea and no other issues. People were actually amazed why I am not vomiting or why am I not sick. I have no idea why would be parents are usually embarrassed about the pregnancy. In my case it was opposite me and hubby both were quite comfortable and I still remember one person's reaction when my husband said "WE ARE PREGNANT" he was like WTF how can you say that so clearly. I literally flaunted my bump throughout 9 months. Here the mandate is if one is pregnant you need to cover it with shawl or wear big cloths and blah blah…!! But  here  I was, wearing shorts with sleeveless tees in a “who cares” attitude. I had just one worry that my baby is growing fine or not. And then finally the day came when doctor said "Look here it's your baby and let’s hear his heartbeat". Oh my! I never thought a simply a thump voice can be this melodious and can made our day. 
So this is how first trimester ended with lot of smiles, worries, research and a newly found friend Priyanka who is now a family :).

Second Trimester:
This period is called a bliss in pregnancy, as the irritating symptoms go down. Though I didn’t have any; as doctor said this is a relaxing period so enjoy. I thought lets follow the doctor and we planned a baby-moon. We chose divine Bali for vacation as it is famous for its luxury and spas. Those 5 days in Bali we enjoyed like anything from traditional spa's to Jacuzzi in room. Oh man I miss that. 
We also enrolled in pre-natal classes which were great and we got lot of information about delivery. They need to be mandatory for every pregnant couple.
So, my whole second trimester went in to outings, movies, lunches and general doctor visits. 

Third Trimester:
Here comes the monster, people say it is a bigger version of first one. More issues with more drama.
The best thing about this period were my surprise babyshower party thrown by my friends. Cake was beautiful and very well designed. I felt like a princess; whole day.And other thing my little one was moving and playing like a professional football player. It was quite amusing to me and girish. Playing with him became a regular routine for girish, you poke him from outside and he will poke from inside :-P. 
So till now everything is like a beautiful, no troubles but in this real life you can’t have a fairy-tale ending so I didn’t. One fine morning I got a nasty rash which spread like hell in few hours. We ran to doctor and found this is very common and had no cure, it will go automatically with delivery, awesome. And then BP shot up for no reason. I was like what the hell I am not even stressed and dont have BP too. But doc said we need to control it and go for urgent delivery. Come and get admitted on 10th Nov. And then it hit me finally, oops I am pregnant and I am going to deliver a baby in two days. Oh shit! How is it going to happen, my baby will be fine or not. I almost ate doctor's head. She said you come and we will see. Pretty normal for them huh…!.We packed our bags like going on picnic.

D-day (10Nov):
Around 9 PM we got admitted. Doc said let’s try for normal delivery, and they started giving medicines for that. But my sweetie pie knew that mumma is quite scared of normal so he didn’t come down at all. Whole night hospital guys were giving me pain inducing medicines with no impact. Early morning it was confirmed that it has to be a C-section as normal is not possible. I took a sigh of relief as I always wanted that in my heart. Now day’s hubbies are allowed in OT, only condition is he should not faint. And Girish is the bravest guy I have seen in my whole life. So he was inside in OT holding my hand whole time. Imagine you lying down in operation table surrounded by so many doctors and machinery and you can see and hear them, scary right. So was I scared a bit and looking straight in to Girish's eyes and listening to doctor’s conversation about their leave plans. And finally moment came and doctor said "It's a boy", take a pic fast. They showed him to me for a nanosecond. 
I still have that first faint memory of Abhimanyu as they gave sleeping medicine after that.
I woke up after 5-6 hours and saw him properly. I can’t even describe that feeling, a sense of accomplishment phew we did it.

So here is the final ingredients everyone need to have for successfully cooking a cute little happy baby:
A supportive, understanding hubby  like Girish.
Amazing set of friends who can bring smile on your face and support in all situations like Sonal and Priyanka and of course Akaash and Kapil
Ability to close your ears and mind
And in the last but not the least GOOGLE.

Have all above things in your life and you will have your sweetest creation in your hands in no time.

 


Here are some pics from my beautiful journey:

 Bali:

 Babyshower cake

 Friends:

Final outcome Abhimanyu :